Like a Ton of Bricks

I have hesitated in writing this post for a lot of reasons. Some because of pride, mostly due to lack of time, and some due to not really feeling like an enthusiastic blogger. However, now that I am writing, it is serving as a helpful outlet for me. Plus, I do feel like this is an issue that is overlooked by many women, and should certainly not be.

After Harper's birth, and not feeling like myself for quite a few days, I decided that I needed to go and talk to someone about this. To put it in a nutshell (as best as I can at least), I basically felt like all of the joy was just ripped out of my world....all of a sudden, for reasons that I could not explain. I didn't understand why I felt this way, especially since I was overloaded with happiness when Aiden was born. When I started considering going back to work early, feeling like I was having panic attacks, I cried more than I have cried in 2 years, and in general not feeling like an adequate mother, I knew that this was just not me, or my normal thoughts at all. Yesterday after talking to a specialist, I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression.

The severity varies in all cases, however it is something that some women experience after birth. From what I understand it is caused by the hormones and chemicals in your body adjusting. I am still in the process of doing research when I can, however, what I can tell you is that it is not a good place to be.

The good news is that since I began seeking help early last week, every day is a better day. I know what I need to do, and I feel like I am in good hands with the doctors that I have talked to. I hope that this post is not misconstrued for attention seeking, or that I am not thankful for my beautiful daughter.

In all of this, Jeff has been my rock. Without him, I wouldn't have been able to get better. The Boss, LOVES his little sister and cannot seem to give her enough kisses and loves. Harper has been to the doctor twice and she is doing wonderful. She loves to eat and is growing like a weed.

I am blessed and I know this for sure. I pray, and in my heart definitely know that things will only go up from here.

Here are some pictures that I have not been able to post yet. I will post as often as I can. Shortly I should be able to post the link to the professional newborn photos we got of the Peanut.