SO much love.......

Aiden and Harper's Granny came to visit last week. And boy was I happy to see her. Ya know, once you become a grandma, God I think gives you a patience card. She's definitely has one of these, or maybe she is just that patient. Thanks for the visit Paula!

Like a Ton of Bricks

I have hesitated in writing this post for a lot of reasons. Some because of pride, mostly due to lack of time, and some due to not really feeling like an enthusiastic blogger. However, now that I am writing, it is serving as a helpful outlet for me. Plus, I do feel like this is an issue that is overlooked by many women, and should certainly not be.

After Harper's birth, and not feeling like myself for quite a few days, I decided that I needed to go and talk to someone about this. To put it in a nutshell (as best as I can at least), I basically felt like all of the joy was just ripped out of my world....all of a sudden, for reasons that I could not explain. I didn't understand why I felt this way, especially since I was overloaded with happiness when Aiden was born. When I started considering going back to work early, feeling like I was having panic attacks, I cried more than I have cried in 2 years, and in general not feeling like an adequate mother, I knew that this was just not me, or my normal thoughts at all. Yesterday after talking to a specialist, I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression.

The severity varies in all cases, however it is something that some women experience after birth. From what I understand it is caused by the hormones and chemicals in your body adjusting. I am still in the process of doing research when I can, however, what I can tell you is that it is not a good place to be.

The good news is that since I began seeking help early last week, every day is a better day. I know what I need to do, and I feel like I am in good hands with the doctors that I have talked to. I hope that this post is not misconstrued for attention seeking, or that I am not thankful for my beautiful daughter.

In all of this, Jeff has been my rock. Without him, I wouldn't have been able to get better. The Boss, LOVES his little sister and cannot seem to give her enough kisses and loves. Harper has been to the doctor twice and she is doing wonderful. She loves to eat and is growing like a weed.

I am blessed and I know this for sure. I pray, and in my heart definitely know that things will only go up from here.

Here are some pictures that I have not been able to post yet. I will post as often as I can. Shortly I should be able to post the link to the professional newborn photos we got of the Peanut.

Jeff's Father's Day Present

I would normally feel bad since I didn't have anything extravagant planned for Jeff on Father's Day this year, but come to think of it, I didn't feel bad about it at all. There's not much that can surpass this little Muffin.

I hope that everyone had a fabulous Father's Day!

90 seconds old

This still gives me tears no matter how many times I watch it.

Two Weeks Old

The time is just flying. Munchkin is doing so well. She eats like a horse and is such a sweetheart. She only cries when she is hungry or is getting her diaper changed. She has gradually been spending more time awake. I think she was up for a whole 30 minutes straight this morning.

She is about to grow out of her first preemie outfit, and we are moving up in diaper size from the "preemie" to the "newborn". The preemie diapers are SO tiny, I swear they are no bigger than a maxi pad.

sUnDaY fUnDaY

On Sunday Aiden (and Dad) spent a large part of the day playing in the kiddie pool and the sprinklers. It is finally starting to feel like summer here. This past Sunday was the first day that the temperature reached above the 95 degree mark. I personally love the summer and cannot wait to get at least a little bit of a tan!


Aiden had a blast. Harper on the other hand, wasn't quite as interested.

Pure Bliss.

Pure Love.

Big Brother

Aiden is adjusting so well to his new baby sister. I am so proud of him. It also hasn't hurt having his favorite playmate, Grandpa here. He calls him "Boppa" and calls Grandma "Ya Ya." So cute. Did I mention he is now sleeping for 12 - 13 hours at night now?

Harper's Birth Story

June 4th 2010 at 6:50pm. 6 Pounds, 5 ounces, 18 inches long.


Friday morning was really just like any other morning. The only difference was, that as I was getting out of the shower I randomly had a brief thought that this might be my last day of being pregnant. Not for any reason; I wasn't contracting, I didn't feel any different, it just popped in my head. But just as quick as the thought appeared, it was gone. My morning just carried on as normal and Jeff and I both went to work.

Around 9:00 am, I noticed that I was having contractions. I didn't think much of it, but decided that I by 11:00 am I should start timing them. Within the hour, they had gone from every 7 minutes, to every 5 and then every 3. By this time, I am slowly starting to realize that I may be going to Labor and Delivery that afternoon, and if that happens then the chances of having a baby in the next few hours is pretty likely. I had already tied up most things at work, but I decided to give my coworker a run down of what was curently going on with my clients. When she looked at me funny, I told her that it was "just as a precaution" since I technically had 3 weeks left of work.

I talked to Jeff and let him know to keep his phone on, as I may have him come home. At this point, I decided that things were obviously progressing, and that either way I needed to leave work. Before I went home though, I ran to both banks to deposit checks and to get some money (by this time I was pretty sure things were happening). I got home, grabbed Aiden and took him into my room while I changed clothes and got things together. Jeff was on his way, and the whole thing was a bit surreal. I called Labor and Delivery and told them that I was coming.

When we got there, they assured me that yes, it looked like I was in labor again, and that I would be having a baby today. This was my cue to start crying. I wasn't ready, and my baby was not "full term" yet. I still had 5 more days for her to reach that point. The doctor was very kind and told me not to worry, but asked what, if anything would make me feel better since they would no longer stop labor being this far along. This was something that I was well aware of, I just didn't really expect it to happen. They sent the NICU nurse to come to talk to me, and answer any questions I might have as far as what they knew, and what I should expect from a baby born at 36 weeks and 2 days. She completely eased my mind, explaining that the only difference should Harper have stayed in until "full term" is that she would weigh more. Everything else like her lungs had already matured.


They admitted me, and started the long pre-op process before the surgery. All the nurses, doctors and anesthesiologists were so wonderful. I was able to relax and really take in the whole experience. At 6:50 pm we welcomed our Harper into this world via C-section. There was a very casual feel in the operating room, both surgeons were talking to me and carrying on normal conversations about their own children while they were doing the surgery. When I heard Harper cry for the first time, I just started to sob. It was such an amazing relief to know that everything was OK. Jeff would go over to the baby, take pictures, then come sit by me and show them to me. Finally when she was all clean, they brought her over to me. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I cried even harder when I saw her blonde hair. She was perfect in every way. I spent that night in the hospital as well as the following night. We were home by Sunday evening. Things are going much smoother than I had aniticpated. Aiden is being such a sweet boy, and Harper is just a dream.

I am soaking in every moment right now. I am so grateful, and simply could not ask for more.